A Reminder for our Believing Women
– By Aboo Zaynab Tawfeeq Ibn Hosley
This is a lecture that should put the heart of every woman at ease. Though the life of a woman in Islaam may seem difficult to some who have no knowledge, or insight, Allaah Has promised Paradise for His righteous servants.
The brother starts the sermon with – Khutbatul-Haajah –
Today’s Khutbah is a reminder for myself and everyone else who is sitting here and all those who may hear about this khutbah and i.e. the prohibition of Ikhtilaaq – of freely mixing between male and female. Al Islaam has placed before us the ways to reduce the temptations of the fitnah of Nisaah and that is this ikhtilaaq (is freely mixing between a man and a woman) — a woman mixing with a man who does not have a mahram and this is prohibited in Islaam. This is the ways that destroys the society and this is the reason why we are going to speak about this today because it is the women who build the society. When you look at the society of today, we see that the women, they are amongst the people that are destroying the society. Because the strongest evidence that prohibits this mixing between men and women when Allaah Azzawajal says in Kitaab al-Azeez i.e. the Quraan :
“Allaah tabarak wa ta’ala commands the women to stay in their houses and He prohibits them from making this dazzling display of themselves.”
Why did Allaah tabarak wa ta’ala inform us thus? Why did He encourage them and command them to stay in their houses? It is because they will not be molested and they stay in their houses and remember Allaah subhana wa ta’ala and they will be protected in their houses. So that they can be protected from all of the evils that occur when they leave their house.
Yes, when we look at this ayat, look at today’s society na’am when you go and buy airline tickets, whom do you see? except women.
When you go to the bank, whom do you see? except women.
When you want to buy a car, whom do you see? except women.
When you want to pay your electricity bill / gas bill whom do you see? except women.
Na’am, they are the ones who are destroying the society. They are the ones who are allowing the destruction of the society. It is because we don’t want to listen to the guidance of Allaah subhana wa ta’ala. Because if you listen to the guidance and heed the guidance and implement the guidance and disseminate this guidance amongst the people we will be amongst the people who are successful.
Na’am the above ayah is about what? It is about women staying in their houses. Staying in their houses and not making a dazzling display of themselves.
When Allaah tabarak wa ta’ala says : “Ask them from behind the hijab.” Why??
Why? Because when you ask them from behind the hijab it is better and it will conceal the disease of that person that is asking. Like the words of the Prophet sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam : It will conceal, it will protect them from their disease because they don’t see them.
And the other ayat that proceeds this is :
And when the women speak from behind the hijab they are not going to speak to try and tempt you or allure you or attract you to that temptation. But because we are far away from the guidance of Allaah subhana wa ta’ala and we want to be on something that is not right.
Na’m when we talk on the telephone and we want to ask about a brother : “is he home?” We want to get all personal with his wife : “How are you doing? I heard you were sick. How are the children?”
This is not the place for you to be asking her. You should ask her husband when he returns and you catch him and you are able to talk to him.
That is why the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam told to ask from behind the Hijab so that it can protect her.
The wives of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam were knowledgeable in that community, not like our wives. They do not know even know how to perform their salaah properly.
First of all look at our children. That is why keep them in their house.
When you keep them in the house the children will benefit. Not like today when the children come to the Masjid, when they see the other Muslims (elders) they don’t give the salams. The hadith : the one who is riding should give salams to the one who is walking. The one who is walking gives salams to the one sitting and the one who has small amounts give it to the ones with larger amounts and the youngsters give salams to those who are older in age.”
How come our youngsters don’t initiate the salams with the ones older in age? It is because our women are not in the house, teaching the kids the Book of Allaah and the sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. It is because the women, the wives of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam were commanded them to stay in their house and to recite kitaab ul-Hikmah. What is Kitab-ual-Hikmah? It is the Book of Allah subhana wa ta’ala and the sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. The wives of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam did this. They didn’t read some Greek Aristotle’s. They didn’t recite anything that would keep them away from the remembrance of Allah. They are going to remember Allaah.
They are going to remember Allaah by reciting that which He sent down and implementing that which He sent down. Likewise we need to teach our children. Now, how can we teach our children if the woman is outside the home always?
They don’t know. Kids don’t know, we have to teach it to them.
When the husband comes home from a hard days work what is the first thing she (the wife) does? How would she know to attend to his needs if the woman is not at home to receive her husband?
We are not here to entertain anyone. This is Yawm-ul-Jummah. If you come to Yawm-ul-Jummah it is obligatory upon you all to know the etiquettes. This is not to entertain anyone or any of the children. It is there to remove some of the diseases that reside in the hearts and to benefit from the reminder so that we can implement it in our life-styles.
So what is it when the women stay outside of their houses? She’s not like that the woman. When her husband comes home after a hard days work, the first thing she would do after she gives you salams is to take off your shoes. She gives him something to drink. She comforts him. She wants to know how his day was at work. She asks him if there is anything that she could get him.
She has his clothes ready for the next day by ironing them etc. So that when the children see this they know that when the daughters get married they are going to treat their husbands exactly like that or better than that. Because they are witnessing the guidance of Allaah in their hearts. Not like our children. We don’t teach them anything and the cause is because our women are outside their house.
When they are outside the house, they don’t know the Shaitan, he beautifies them. “I don’t care if you are wearing all black, he beautifies you. So much that if there is disease in his heart or anyone else that black is going to look good for him. And he will say that he wants someone just like that. The lady he sees is wearing nothing but black and he can’t see anything except the eyes may be uncovered. Now, you want to see the eyes. When you look her in the eyes, now you are finished. Because the disease is just coming out. That is why we have to teach our women that when they come out for something that is a necessity, they must take care of that business and get back into their house.
Not like the women of these days in time. Because the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said that the whole body of a woman is her private part. He didn’t make no exceptions. He didn’t say except her face and hands, he didn’t say except her feet, except her eyes. He said the whole body of a woman is her awrah.
Not like our women, when they come out they don’t know about the guidance of Allaah. The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam prohibited the women from walking in the middle of the streets and when you tell them, they don’t want to adhere to that. They want to adhere to their passing desires. “I ain’t walking in the sides of the street.”
When the sahabiyaats were walking in the middle of the streets the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said: “Draw back now. Draw back and walk in the sides of the roads and don’t walk in the middle of the roads. ” So much so that when the walking their body was scratching against the wall because they were adhering to the guidance of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
I command all of you to follow the guidance of Allah, to follow that has been revealed to the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
So we have to know that if the woman comes out, even if you are taking her and you are driving and she is sitting in the car with you, it is best for the woman to sit at the back instead in front. And it is best she doesn’t speak unless there is a need for her to speak. Because when she speaks and she is controlling the conversation and you have a friend in the car, what does that do except produce some disease that may reside in your heart, that may stay in the heart. And you may start thinking something bad and it starts rusting may be that her voice may have attracted you. We don’t think about that. When there is no need she shouldn’t talk. Why? Because the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said : “Shyness doesn’t come except with goodness.” Let her not speak unless there is a necessity since her voice may attract a non-mahram man.
When I was growing up years ago, the women used to wear skirts and long dresses. They didn’t wear pants because they felt shy to wear pants. But now they have no shyness. They have gone from skirts and long dresses to wearing pants. And when they used to wear skirts and long dresses and they needed to bow down or bend down to pick up something, they used to do it with modesty. But now the bend down to pick up something wearing pants, with no modesty, exposing it all so much so that the people around them would be affected.
Know that the woman, they need to stay in their house and teach our children. So that they wont lure and tempt us. Because every single place you go you have a woman right in front of your face. The airport, the market place, the cashier, the register clerk in the hospital, when you go to pay your gas bill, your water bill. Every place you name it they have a woman right in front of your face.
And how many of us want to go to a store and buy something now because we saw a beautiful woman walking. Apparently she is beautiful? But in actuality she is not beautiful. So much so that even if a woman is wearing all black they want to have some type of fashion with it. Why black? Because it is the purpose that it serves, it is supposed to turn us away from them. But now like other sisters they wear all black and they want to wear red with it. A red hand bag and red shoes !!!
Before we entered Islaam that was the furthest thing that turned us away. We went far away from this as this didn’t look good.
The woman is a fitnah so protect her. If you protect her you protect the society, you protect your children and without a doubt you are protecting yourself. Because when you come home from a hard days work she will take off your shoes and socks and will give you something to drink. Your children are going to do the same thing. You are teaching them how to be obedient to your husband. How to treat your husband, so much that when she is about nine years of age she knows majority of the things as to how to please her husband, how to stay with her husband, how to call her husband, how to be obedient to the husband, to help one another in good and righteousness and not help one another in sin and transgression.
So we have to learn and we have to teach our women to stay in their houses and don’t come out except when it is necessary for them to come out.
The importance of this khutbah is what? To protect ourselves and our women because the women make up the society. Majority of men is where? In prison. Majority of men are drug addicts but you have an abundance of women out there. Like in Egypt 16 million people in the main city and 85% or 90% are unmarried and the dowry is sky high. So what does that produce except homosexuality. That is what it is going to produce because the men can’t get married. These days we don’t have the Imaan like the Imaan of Imaam Ahmed Rahimullaah. He didn’t even get married until he was 40 years of age; na’m why?? Because he was busy with seeking knowledge. Seeking knowledge so much so that even when he went to Makkah and he was with Yahya Ibn Muaid Rahimullah he told him that after his Hajj he wanted to go to Yemen so that he could meet up and take knowledge from Imaam San’aali. Na’m today we have a Sheikh Muqbil bin Hadi rahimullah a Muhaddith in Yemen and we don’t even teach our children about him. So that when it is summer we don’t put them in the day care and your wife says: “I have saved up all the money that you have given me and I would like you to take off from your job and take my children up to Yemen so that they can benefit from the Sheikh before he dies.” We aren’t thinking like that.
Every single time you come to the Masjid the woman is right there too as though it is obligatory for her to make salaah in the Masjid. You take her to a place like this. We say the Masjid is packed and the men can’t get in there and there is no place and it is not obligatory for the woman to come to the Masjid. For whom is it obligatory? It is obligatory for the men who are responsible to perform Yawm al Jummah in the Masjid. But our women every single time there is a class or something or Yawm al Jummah, they are at the doorsteps or the doorways of the Masjids so much so that when it is time to make Salaah and you come late she makes Salah outside the door where everyone else is praying. She doesn’t know “Shyness doesn’t come except with goodness.”
If your not eligible to make salaah why do you have to come to the Masjid? Why?
When I was a Kaafir I used to be ashamed to go to the store to buy those personal things for my mother. I used to hide it in everything else. Now you got the best thing you want to let everybody know. You go to the Masjid and don’t pray you want everybody to know because you are facing the direction the brothers come in. You tell me that this ain’t temptation. I don’t care if she is wearing all black, a man can go through that, a man is weak, a woman you have to caress her to get her into the mood to be intimate but a man he gets excited and is mesmerized easily. Go to the airport, the bus stop, the gal who is driving the bus you see the woman right in front of you. They have so much of the finest women in front of us and you tell me that this ain’t gonna change us? All of a sudden we want to buy that ticket because we want to stand in her face.
Likewise our Muslim women want to be outside doing the same thing. So my reminder to all of us is what? If the woman comes outside let her adhere to the guidance of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam. Because during the time of Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam they had two different doors, a door for the woman to go in and a door for the man to go in but it didn’t stop there. The women knew that the front line is the worst row for the woman and the worst row for the men is the last row.
When the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam finished making his salaah he was sitting in the direction he was praying so that he gave the women enough time to leave. Last month when I did that, one of the brothers said : “You are supposed to turn around right now.” So I had to explain that the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam and the sahabas did that to give the women enough time to leave. But now a days even if you do that the woman is still standing in the doorway.
So I ask all of you’ll to protect your wives, to protect your children. Keep them inside their houses except when there is a need for them to come out. And when they are in the house command them to remember Allaah subhana wa ta’ala and to raise the children upon the obedience of Allah subhana wa ta’ala and don’t be amongst the people who don’t raise them on the obedience of Allah subhana wa ta’ala.