Funny comment.

I was in the Dars with Shaikh Muhammad and he said:

“Leave the bread to burn no problem, but don’t leave your husband to burn”.

Part 5: Mental preparation.

So you want to get married? You have the job and you see that sweet sister or you heard of that pious sister and you can’t wait. Or the sister has seen a good looking handsome brother or heard of that pious one she has been waiting for. Ok Bismillah let’s go…..

But hold your horses and mash brakes. Are you prepared for such a venture?

Yes marriage has its joys. The joys of not being single, the joys of enjoying the company of the opposite sex etc. But one thing that we haven’t look at yet. It seems like a big curse word to us in this day and time. Yes it is the R word: RESPONSIBILITY.

So brother who wants to get married I have some questions for you:

1) Do you realize that once you get married that your days of liming with the boys would be less than is used to be?

2) Have you read about your responsibilities as a Husband?

3) Are you able to handle the tantrums that a woman may fling at you for no purpose or are you impatient?

And my dear sister I ask you some questions:

1) Are you prepared to obey the man you are about to marry even if you dislike it?

2) Are you prepared to fulfill your responsibilities as a wife which includes serving him?

If you are not both prepared for fulfilling each other’s rights and responsibilities then in that case reconsider before you fall into ultimate destruction. However if you are ready for that then we hope that you have a blessed marriage.

I advice my brothers and sisters to read, read and read even more. Read the book of Shaikh Al Albani called Adab Uz Zafaf which is in Arabic and English. Also read Riyad Us Saliheen and Buluugh Ul Maraam in the chapters on Marriage. Another good book which is specific for women is Ash Shaikh Muqbil’s daughter who wrote a book called my advice to women.

And I advocate that we should have classes in the Masjid teaching the book of Marriage so that everyone would not go into this serious relationship ignorant of what they are getting into. Because it is ignorance which has broken up marriages without a doubt.

Hence, once we have knowledge and are ready to act upon that knowledge we would be mentally prepared to undertake this important venture of our lives. However if we are not serious about this issue and do not prepare mentally for it it is feared that one may end up being a failure in his/her marriage.

Part four: Financial Preparation.

Allah has said: “The men are the maintainers and protectors of the women”.

The Prophet (Salallahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Whoever can afford to marry let him marry…”

He also said: “The man is the shepherd and he is responsible for his flock”.

This shows that the brother must be financially prepared to handle his responsibilities as the breadwinner of the household. He must have the ability to provide food, clothing and shelter for his wife. Therefore, he should be one who is working for his money. It doesn’t matter whether or not it is a job that pays big money or small money. What matters most is that he has the ability to take care of his wife. As Shaikh Zayed Al Wassabi answered when asked if a Muslim can study Economics: “The Economics of the Muslim is his food, his drink and not to waste….”.

However, this is not the case nowadays. Many brothers in America and the United Kingdom choose not to work and live upon welfare. And in Trinidad many don’t work and don’t even look for work and say: “Don’t worry Allah will provide”. Yes no doubt he will provide but you have to take the means to seek provision also Ya Akhii. There are two matters when one relies upon Allah:

1) Having reliance itself

2) Taking the means for reliance.

And in this case many of our dear brothers have forgotten condition number two of this very important issue. I also do not comprehend and will never comprehend how a brother can feel like a man while himself and his wife are living off welfare or through the handouts of others. Allah has put us as men in a position of authority, as providers and protectors of the home. Therefore, how can we fulfill this duty when we don’t want to work?

In any case I end with a quote by my deceased grandfather who told my cousin: “Young man you like to have nice things?” He said: Yes. Then my grandfather said: “Well you have to like to work”.

Therefore, my brothers if you want to have a nice wife or some nice wives you have to like to work also.

And Allah knows best.

4b: The Importance of the Sunnah to the Sahabas

The Shaikh said: And the point of return of the Salaf Us Salih when they disagree is: the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of his Messenger (Salallahu alaihi wa sallam). Allah has said: “If you disagree about a matter return it to Allah and the Messenger if you believe in Allah and the last day. That is good and the best of explinations”. Surah Nisa verse 59.

Notes: The Shaikh has shown that the return of the Salaf Us Salih is the book of Allah and the Sunnah of his Mesenger (Salallahu alaihi wa sallam) in all matters. Whether they are in disagreement or not. However, since deviance is usually caused by disagreement Allah ta’ala has ordered us as Muslims to return to his book and the Sunnah of his Messenger (Salallahu alaihi wa sallam) and this is a sure-fire way for any disagreement to cease. Unfortunately many of the deviant groups do not take heed of this issue and as a result have divided the religion.

Amongst them are:

1) Those who return to what their intellect declares to them. And this is the way of the Mu’tazilah who many of the Ulama of the Salaf have said are Kuffar.

2) Those who return to what their forefathers have said. Allah has said about them: “If it is said to them that they should follow what has been revealed they say we follow what our forefathers were upon”.

3) Those who return to the statement of an Imam from the Imams of Fiqh instead of the Sunnah. Allah has said about such people: “They have taken their scholars and worshippers as deities other than Allah”.

4) Those who return to dreams and their feelings like the Sufis.

All these points of return are false. Rather the true point of return for the Muslim is the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of the Messenger (Salallahu alaihi wa sallam).

The Shaikh said: And the Messenger of Allah (Salallahu alaihi wa sallam) is the one who relayed the message from his Lord and has clarified his book (the Qur’an). Allah has said: “And we sent down a remembrance to make clear to the people what has been sent to them”. (Surah Nahl verse 44)

Notes: This is a clear proof that the Sunnah is revelation revealed to clarify the Qur’an as mentioned before. And also it is what explains the Qur’an. Imam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal said in his Usuul Us Sunnah: And the Sunnah explains the Qur’an. Therefore, we cannot say we use the Qur’an then the Sunnah as evidence. Rather we say that we use the Qur’an and the Sunnah since they go hand in hand.

The Shaikh said: And the Messenger of Allah (Salallahu alaihi wa sallam) said in a Hadeeth: “Upon you is my Sunnah and the Sunnah of the rightly guided Caliphs, hold onto it with your molar teeth and beware of newly invented matters, for verily every innovation is misguidance”.

Notes:  This Hadeeth is the famous Hadeeth of Irbaad Ibn Sariyah. And it shows that every Muslim must hold onto the Sunnah of the Messenger (Salallahu alaihi wa sallam) and the Sunnah of the Companions (Radiallaho anhum). And this is from the strongest evidences which prove that one must follow the way of the Companions (Radiallaho anhum). Because he didn’t only tell people to follow his Sunnah but he also told them to hold onto what the four rightly guided caliphs were upon. It also shows that the Caliphs were upon what the Prophet (Salallahu alaihi wa sallam) were upon as the Messenger (Salallahu alaihi wa sallam) made no difference between following his Sunnah and the Sunnah of his Caliphs. 

Then he advised us to hold onto it with our molar teeth. Showing that we must hold onto his Sunnah and the Sunnah of his Caliphs with strength and we should not let go of it. As Allah said to Yahya (Alaihis Salaam): “Oh Yahya hold onto the book with strength”.  And in other verses: “Hold onto what we have given you with strength”.  Therefore, holding onto all aspects of the Sunnah is not extremism but rather it is what the Messenger (Salallahu alaihi wa sallam) ordered. And this is whether it is in aspects of creed, methodology, fiqh or behaviour.

Then he (Salallahu alaihi wa sallam) cautioned us about newly invented matters in the religion. These newly invented matters that have no evidence for them in the Shar’iah are called innovations.

According to Imam Ash Shatibi an innovation is what has been invented in the religion that was not there before which resembles worship and wants by it to come closer to Allah ta’ala. Therefore, in order to know whether something is a bid’ah or not we have to look at these three matters:

1) It is a newly invented matter in the religion that has no basis in the Shari’ah.

2) It wants by that action to come closer to Allah.

3) It resembles the worship of Allah.

And the effects of Bid’ah are evil. Some of them are:

1) The Tauba of a person of innovation is not accepted until he leaves his innovation.

2) It splits the Ummah of the Messenger (Salallahu alaihi wa sallam) making them many groups and sects.

3) It replaces a Sunnah and makes it die.

4) It results in the ignorance of the masses of Muslims. Until Bid’ah becomes the Sunnah and the Sunnah becomes Bid’ah according to them.

5) It results in the hatred of the scholars of the Sunnah and amongst them are the Sahabah.

And there are many more evil effects of innovation. However, these five are enough for a Muslim to know that he must stay away from it.

And Allah knows best.